A bum is selling strawberries door to door to housewives.... one attractive woman opens her door to the bum and seductively bares her breast... the bum starts crying...
The housewife "what's wrong you poor man?"
Bum "I've lost my home, my family, my job and now I'm going to get fucked out of my strawberries!"
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Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Alligator Joke
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, “I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We are the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.”
Well, says the big alligator,“what have you been eating? “Lawyers, same as you,” replies the small alligator.
“Hmmmm. Well, where do you catch them?” “Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.”
“Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch them?” Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite them, shake the crap out of them, and eat them!
“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem. By the time you get done shaking' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase.”