Mensa List for 2008 Washington Post

MENSA LIST 2008 The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. 17. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 16. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 15. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 14. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 13. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 12. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 11. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 8. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these eally bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer. 7. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 6. Glibido: All talk and no action. 5. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 4. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 3. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 2. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. 1. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Mensa Convention = joke

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.