The talking dog from Tennessee - joke

A guy is driving around the back woods of the Tennessee Smoky Mountains and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale..' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap.

Tennessee deer hunters - joke

Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near the Foothills Parkway in the Tennessee Smoky Mountains on the opening day of deer season and they both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them.

As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone.

The other hunter exclaimed, 'Wow! That was the most sportsman-like act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great Humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!'

The first hunter nodded and said; 'Well, we were married for 42 years."