Toilet Paper - joke

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'

Butt Measurements - Joke

A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day And the man looks over at his wife and says:

"Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape And measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working And measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is 2" wider than the barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, The husband is feeling a little frisky.

He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill For one little weenie?"