An Afghan Taliban Figher in the Desert, a Jew and a Tie Joke

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted, "You Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie...I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK," said the little old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you want...Shalom."

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later, he staggered back, almost dead, and said:
"Your brother won't let me in without a tie...”

Michael Jackson the King of pop is Anti-Semitic? The proof.

Michael Jackson, Anti-Semite From "Fundamentally Freund" by Michael Freund of Israelnationalnews.com

While much of the world mourns the untimely death of the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson, it is worth recalling one of Mr. Jackson's more unfortunate qualities: he was an anti-Semite.

In case you think I am making this up, allow me to refresh your memory.

Back in November 2005, Jackson was caught on tape in a voicemail to one of his former business managers calling Jews "leeches". The tapes were played on ABC's Good Morning America program, and Jackson was heard saying, "They suck…they're like leeches. It's a conspiracy. The Jews do it on purpose."

And in 1995, Jackson provoked a firestorm of protest when he released an album called History containing a song entitled "They don't care about us" which had the following lyrics: "Jew me, sue me" and "Kick me, kike me". He subsequently promised to re-record the song and delete the offending lyrics.

But then, in February 1996, Jackson nonetheless released a video of the song in which he had re-instated the brazenly anti-Semitic remarks.

So before you go shedding a tear in Michael Jackson's memory, take a moment and consider the hate that he spewed against Jews, both in private and in public. And then maybe you'll consider saving those tears for someone far more deserving.

Michael Jackson calls Jews 'leeches' By Nathan Guttman

Pop star Michael Jackson was caught on tape making anti-Semitic remarks, calling Jews "leeches."

In a series of audio tapes broadcasted Wednesday on ABC's "Good Morning America," Jackson is heard using anti-Semitic language in a voice message to one of his former advisers. "They suck…they're like leeches," Jackson is heard saying. "It's a conspiracy. The Jews do it on purpose."

The tapes are part of lawsuit filed against Jackson by two of his former advisers. According to the ABC report, Jackson, who was restricted by his business managers in the amounts of cash he was allowed to spend, used to ask his advisers for cash loans that sometimes reached millions of dollars. When he did not receive the money, Jackson became abusive and would leave harsh messages.

The message was sent to Dieter Wiesner, a former adviser who is now suing the pop star for $64 million. A separate lawsuit was filed by Marc Schaffel, who claims Jackson owes him $3 million.

ABC news has said that, while the authenticity of voicemail recordings left by Jackson to Schaffel could be confirmed, they could not verify the recording on Wiesner's answering machine.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) issued a statement claiming Jackson "has an anti-Semitic streak." Abraham Foxman, national director of the ADL, said "every time he has a problem in his life, he blames the Jews". Foxman referred to a similar incident with Jackson in 1995, when he wrote a song titled "They don't care about us" that included anti-Semitic stereotypes. Jackson later apologized for the lyrics and removed them from the song.

"It is sad that Jackson is infected with classically stereotypical ideas of Jews as all-powerful, money-grabbing and manipulative," said Foxman. He called on Michael Jackson to acknowledge the hatred in his words and show his fans that he rejected bigotry.

Jackson's lawyer was quoted on ABC as unwilling to comment on the content of the audio tapes. Since his acquittal on child molestation charges, Jackson has been living in Bahrain.

Search for anything you need to know about Michael Jackson.

The Flight - joke

On a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta , GA , a well attired middle-aged woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa ("yarmulka" in Yiddish). She called the attendant over to complain about her seating.

"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.
"You've sat me next to a Jew!! I can't possibly sit next to this strange man. Please find me another seat!"

"Madam, I will see what I can do to accommodate," the attendant replied, "but the flight is virtually full today and I don't know if there is another seat available." The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not to mention the surrounding passengers).

A few minutes later the attendant returned and said, "Madam, the economy and club sections are full, however, we do have one seat in First class." Before the lady had a chance to respond, the attendant continued, "It is only on exceptions that we make this kind of upgrade, and I had to ask permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that no one should be forced to sit next to an unpleasant person..."

The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, Sir, I have a comfortable seat for you in First class..."

At this point, the surrounding passengers stood up and gave a standing ovation while the Jewish man walked up to the front of the plane.

The lady then said indignantly, "The Captain must have made a mistake.." To which the attendant replied, "No Ma'am. Captain Cohen never makes a mistake."