The Patient - joke

A male patient is lying in bed at the hospital the day after having lower back surgery, he is wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A beautiful young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them that I can see, Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - back?

The Patient - Joke

"Don't laugh!" said the patient, Randy.

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Randy said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ' whoo.ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Randy replied...