This Will Brighten Up Your Day! – Funny sex story

A young couple joined a new church and the pastor told them, 'We require all new member couples to abstain from sex for one whole month.'

The couple agreed, but after two weeks returned to see the pastor. The wife was crying and the husband was obviously depressed. 'You are back so soon, is there a problem?' inquired the pastor.

'We did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month,' the young man replied sadly. 'The first week we managed to abstain through sheer will power. The second week was terrible and as we began the third week we were powerless.'

The pastor asked what happened. The young man replied, 'My wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her right then and there. 'It was lustful, loud, and passionate. It lasted over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat.' The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.'

'We understand,' said the young man, hanging his head, 'We're not welcome at Home Depot either.'

home depot joke

the "I" in this story refers to a friend in Colorado ands possibly Texas as both States have experienced the same treatment - BUT BOTH GUYS are still shopping there.

Subject: Home Depot

Just a heads up. There's a big scam going on at the Home Depot Stores.

I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your stuff into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot store. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

Here's how I know this is for real:

I had my wallet stolen April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th. Also, three times just yesterday, May 1st, and very likely this coming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. !!