Re: Payment Notification - Nigerian Email Scam

Subject: Re: Payment Notification:
Sent by: MRS FARIDA WAZIRE.
Sent Via Email: ofice-nigeria@hotmail.com
Determination: It's a Nigerian scam for either phishing or just to steal your money

Re: Payment Notification:

We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD? Because we received a notification from one MR. Bob Chantler of USA stating that you are DEAD and that you have giving him the right to claim your funds. He stated you died on a CAR accident. He has been calling us regarding this issue, but we cannot proceed with him until we confirm this by not hearing from you after 2 days. Be advised that we have made all arrangements for you to receive and confirm your funds without anymore stress, and without any further delays.

All we need to confirm now is your been DEAD Or still Alive. Because this MAN'S message brought shock to our minds. And we just can't proceed with him until we Reconfirm if this is a reality OR not But if it happened we did not hear from you after 2 days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE"

YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL.

May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.

Your Faithfully,
Mrs. Farida Waziri

The Afterlife

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact,

"Marion ... Marion "

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course .. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob you must be in Heaven!"

"Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona .."

Death and Citbank Credit Cards - Funny Story

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0, now somewhere around $60.

A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here's the exchange:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed, and the late fees & charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau. Maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you?...the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)
(Supervisor gets on the phone):
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply."(This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (stammering) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great-nephew."
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people??!!)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "Yes, that will help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on YOUR planet?!