Very sad news - death of a very important person

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokie Pokey' died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Shut up. You know it's funny. Now send it on to someone else and make them
smile.

No disrespect intended for those of my friends who are doctors - facts

DOCTORS
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services.

GUNS
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.
Statistics courtesy of FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

Death and Citbank Credit Cards - Funny Story

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0, now somewhere around $60.

A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here's the exchange:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed, and the late fees & charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau. Maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you?...the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)
(Supervisor gets on the phone):
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply."(This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (stammering) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great-nephew."
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people??!!)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "Yes, that will help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on YOUR planet?!