cat hero of the year

Hi Everyone, My friend Gina Stefanides is up for cat hero of the year with Animal Planet. If she wins they will give Feline Rescue $5,000.00 for her spay & neuter with the stray cats. It would help us out if you could go to Animal Planet Cat Hero and vote for Gina. The photo is at a local liquor store we have trapped and released over 80 cats there alone. Down the street is another area with 100 strays we have also helped. We are trying . Thanks Kendra

P.S Send to a friend

About my son, Johnson - scam spam email

Dear Belove,

I believe you will treat this mail with the fear of God. It is with tears that I am writing you this mail, I dont need your pity, but love to my son. My mail may seem very painful and sorrowful, but there is more you can do in my request than to pity me, which is to show LOVE to my son. I am an orphan and do not wish my son to experience what I have been through on Earth.

My name is Lucie Summers,married to the late James Summers,who died with our two daughters in Indonesia on 26th of December 2004 during the Tsunami Disaster, Since after this painful and sorrowful incident, my cancer sickness got worst and I have been suffering from heart failure,hearing problem and hypertitis.I was ignored by my friends due to my relationship with God on sickbed. At present, my only means of communicating with people around me is through body language and writing

I, my husband and our children have been in United Kingdom for a long time. We all were suppose to travel to Indonesia in 2004 December, but my bad health, did not permit me to travel with them, which made me and my son stay behind while my husband and our two daughters travelled. If not, all of us would have perished in the disaster.

My reason of writing you this mail is due to the sad news that came to me recently from the doctors. After my last diagnose result, it was proved by the doctors that I may not leave for more than one month ahead, due to the damage the cancer have caused in my system unless I undergo an urgent surgical operation which my chance of survival is less than 10% according to the medical experts. As it stands, I have given to fate and have found God on sick bed. But I have a more concern problem, which is why I have contacted you.

Please, this is about my son, his name is johnson. Since it is now obvious that I will die,my son's future have been the greatest problem I have.I want you to take care of my son please. He is only 13years and we have no person here to take care of him if I die today,I was deserted by my friends for knowing God.

My Husband left some money (About $12,000,000.00 usd) in a deposit house at United Kingdom at Abbey National plc, of which I was made the next of Kin/Beneficiary, which I intended to use for investment in Indonesia.

I want you to take this money and my son. Use the money into a big investment, that you will manage until my son grows up to take over the investment. I will like you to take johnson as your own son, give him the love we the parents would have given him. Do not let him feel the pains of being an orphan,give him good education, bring him up into a responsible man. Make him have the fear of God. Please do not refuse this task.I have no one else to help me out on this issue,I am an orphan who grew up without knowing God rather focused on wealth and otherwise,living a life of fantasy .Do not pity me, rather take good care of him and bring him up to be God fearing.

As soon as I receive your reply and personal details, that is :

(1) YOUR FULL NAME
(2) RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
(3) AGE
(4) SEX

consenting to my proposition, I will authorise my bank to transfer the money to your account directly and I will also draw up my WILL in your favour . This will be made with the assistance of my Late husbands attorney.

You do not have to pay any fees to the Attorney for that I will take care of.

Also, I will give the bank all the documents that is covering the deposit with the bank, I will transfer every power and right of ownership to you stating at my Will to enable you claim the deposit from the bank. It will be also included in the Will that you are the only person my son should be released to, if i die. All I need is your acceptance and assurance that you will not treat my son badly.I am writing you this mail with great tears and I pray you will be kind & honest with the fear of God concerning this mail to you today.

Please reply this mail immediately if you have the love and care of God at:

luciesummers2004@yahoo.co.uk

Thank you.
Lucie Summers

(obvious scam)

THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY - IT IS FOR REAL - spam

To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney. If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, What have you got to lose?

SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long a go.

Dear Friends: Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.


Regards.

Charles S Bailey
General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085

Thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks af ter receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I received a check for $24,000.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill gates is the man.

It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00 We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game,she showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped "Paid In Full".

(and now check out all the poor people whose emails have been harvested and are due to get a crap load of spam!)

5thgear@auto-europe.co.uk, aacle@miamiherald.com, aboone@nineblue.com, ADRIANAPANTOJA@GMAIL.COM, AGELBSTEIN@COMCAST.NET, aggegidstedt@hotmail.com, aggie@loan-loan.info , AimeeDls@aol.com, akrivero@adelphia.net, alex.brisbourne@rogers.com, amarante@entertainment.com, americanairlines@info.aa.com, ptsavolunteer@msn.com, amy@AmyCallahan.com , Andi.Phillips@nbcuni.com, andrea_sarli@hotmail.com, arencibiajorge@bellsouth.net , aromazerothree@aim.com, backofj@usa.redcross.org, barb@bocamag.com, bart@bradfordprintinginc.com, Bela.Florentin@mch.com, Bit164@aol.com, bjorn.jornlid@k.lrf.se, blake@pickyourown.org, blank81257@msn.com, bmacdonald@flva.org, boggi@telia.com, boxron@att.net, brcondon@yahoo.com, brenes1@stis.net, bud_henize@bellsouth.net, bukovskyj@ammons.dadeschools.net, CAMPMONTEREY@MULTIPRO.COM, carolinajose@yahoo.com, CCarnivale@herald.com, CCarnivale@miamiherald.com, cclad@unit.net, cclad@usit.net, ce7175@miamidade.gov, cebouchard@bellsouth.net, CessnaC172@aol.com, charlie.crist@myflorida.com, chrise99@bellsouth.net, claguerre@dadeschools.net , clara@chariff.com, cliffjumper321@msn.com, clpresley1@netzero.net, CM4Keith@aol.com, cmendez@fids.org, cneditor@gate.net, Coffeyinthemorning@wkis.com, comclub1@bellsouth.net, content@gocitykids.com, customercare@countrysupply.com, customerservice@florida529plans.com, customersupport3@delivery2u.net, dadenews@miamiherald.com, camillad_9@hotmail.com, daskew@ccmiami.com, david.isreal@cox.com, deana@brothersproperty.com , DGahring@sun-sentinel.com, discship@netflix.com, terriroses@lani.net, DTo07926@aim.com, drew@gocitykids.com, dungamorizot@bellsouth.net, ecasal@bellsouth, editor@gocitykids.com , ekourtes@med.miami.edu, kleon@spray.se, elusivesusan@hotmail.com, erica@parkservices.ce7175 @miamidade.gov, erica@services.ce7175@miamidade.gov, erich@opossumfx.com, eruel@comcast.net , brad747fly@hotmail.com, ezimprints@yahoo.com, FiveBitts@aol.com, fl@fl-camping-review.com, Foreutoo@aol.com, FranceRichardson@timeforgoodrate.com, Garcedu@aol.com , GenaoE@aol.com, girlscouttraining@girlscoutsfl.com, goran.jornlid@telia.com, grantmiller@communitynewspapers.com, greathousebutterflies@mindspring.com, Greenandwhite09@aol.com, greg@wqam.com, gs@yourlink.net, gscholer@cfl.rr.com, guerra_family_@hotmail.com, hadvisement@mdc.edu, HAPPYGIRL241089@aol.com, hardyj@ammons.dadeschools.net, hbbyfrm@cobweb.net , help@alldirect.com, hernandezal@bellsouth.net, hhentschel@fedex.com, hochmuth.laura@gmail.com, home@simona-kruse.de, hscaskey@bellsouth.net, info@cutlerridgesoccer.com , info@keywestbutterfly.com, info@life-techsystems.com, INFO@NUTRI-BALANCE.ORG, israell@bellsouth.net, itetonis@sun-sentinel.com, jaana.kollberg@swipnet.se, jack51576@yahoo.com, jakob@strawberrydenmark.dk, JAEGGS@aol.com, jafiallo@bellsouth.net, jafiallo@mac.com, jars1130@comcast.net, jbeasley15@cfl.rr.com, jcml74055@earthlink.net, jdammann@bellsouth.net, jenniferarzola2004@yahoo.com, jeparker99@yahoo.com , jesse@rusticpathways.com, jessica@smdysp.net, JessieJet83@aol.com, Jillage4@aol.com, jim1885@bellsouth.net, jjp62301@bellsouth.net, jmcase@miamidade.gov, jmurphy@herald.com, Joe@wkis.com, joh@hotmail.com, JOLLY-JENNERS@ADELPHIA.NET, joshd@wqam.com, joy@joysfoods.com, jp@rusticpathways.com, julie.guy@cox.com, juneengland@bellsouth.net, jwynn@bigelowaerospace.com, karl-johan.bengtsson@mbox301.tele2.se, kcrownover@bellsouth.net, keke0116@bellsouth.net, kessler@ilinet.org, kimmc@firstva.com, kimmc@nexet.net, kristil002@yahoo.com, krsae@bellsouth.net, Krystal@bookfactory.com, lasbrisas@racsa.co.cr, Lasmia@aol.com, laura.hochmuth@dhs.gov, ld@get2net.dk, ldigenn@miamidade.gov, leenpcb@bellsouth.net, 03562388@telia.com, lenee@freshrates.info, jlewis@seagen.com, lg1645@miamidade.gov, LGARCIA@MIAMIDADE.GOV, lgoodlin@sfparenting.com , arvidsson.l@telia.com, lisman02@bellsouth.net, LittleFrm@aol.com, LMorenoChavez@aol.com, lodzdee@aol.com, lscholer@sseds.org, luckylana11@gmail.com, support@lunarpages.com, lvrmia@att.net, lyle@chariff.com, m.pita.carrazana@gmail.com, m.pitacarrazana@gmail.com, Malexs@aol.com, maria@utofd.com, sjunnesson.marie@telia.com, marisol@fucelon.com, marita_dahl@hotmail.com, markomia@bellsouth.net, marshalric@yahoo.com , martybell11@comcast.net, ssellars@earthlink.net, MaryLI120@aol.com, Maxineh1057@yahoo.com, mayerc@bellsouth.net, mayorer@usa.redcross.org, MAZONMANIA@aol.com , Mearsislamorada@aol.com, meli1128@gmail.com, member@ebay.com, meofmiami@yahoo.com, merideth_bonaparte@adp.com, miami@gocitykids.com, MiamiDebi@aol.com , miamidebi2@aol.com, miamifamily@bellsouth.net, miamipalmetto@dadeschools.net, michealmiller@communitynewspapers.com, Milagrosrivers@aol.com, mirm@bellsouth.net, mjmccarron@bellsouth.net , mlynch@herald.com, mmajor@sfparenting.com, mmroberts@flmnh.ufl.edu, Modrnmermaid726@aol.com, monchichi99@juno.com, s.monica@telia.com, mpinzur@herald.com, mpjbell@adelphia.net, Mrschembio@aol.com, msallah@herald.com, mscott@mdc.edu, mshagle@gmail.com, ndrake23@verizon.net, nersagarcia@dadeschools.net, NKuchen@aol.com, norourke1@cfl.rr.com, nvallejo@girlscoutsfl.org, ofs@Gemplers.com, orly2727@bellsouth.net , orlybf@bellsouth.net, palmecho08@gmail.com, Panamacityfolk@aol.com, partypop@partypop.com, pbailey@herald.com, pbolger@ccmiami.com, PDunner039@cs.com, phrojas@hotmail.com, pio@pmhealth.us, PLamanna@sun-sentinel.com, plotnick@manhattancats.com , PMartijn@aol.com, princess_stephie1027@hotmail.com, prn@c.dk, rebatetrans@onrebate.com, rebecca@kollaras.com, record_check@ratereductionspecialist.com, rednkgrl1980@yahoo.com, rhi.bnash.guest.services@renaissancehotels.com, usmsric@msn.com, rickecpa@bellsouth.net, rivera9280@bellsouth.net, rmmartinez@dadeschools.net, rodrigog@bellsouth.net , rodriguez911@comcast.net, ron@att.net, Rosi.endreira@indymacbank.com, rruel@adelphia.net, rstjohn@wmxj.com, Russianpeople@msn.com, rustic@rusticpathways.com, ryansrest@bellsouth.net, safari_party@yahoo.com, sale-372200651@craigslist.org, sale-386816472@craigslist.org, sale-386818711@craigslist.org, sale-387611713@craigslist.org, sales@bookfactory.com, sales@foxmar.com, sales@hvactool.com, Salvador@SalvadorRomero.com, sbetlach@sfparenting.com, sdufeu@palmertrinity.org, serrano@nineblue.com, sflores@pbsj.com, shenson2463@yahoo.com, smiguelez@sfparenting.com, mdorer@silverbt.com , SOFONISBA1230@YAHOO.COM, sroshaven@bellsouth.net, starlingm@ammons.dadeschools.net , bramer@semera.se, suepsmith@gmail.com, Susanne.Pettersson@edu.falkenberg.se, tealflames@gmail.com, teri_rod@msn.com, terryguice@hotmail.com, tguzman@dadeschools.net, thefarmer@thelittlefarm.us, theli20@elara.lunarservers.com, thiskiss04@yahoo.com, TNovicki@kristihouse.org, Tobin893soc@ae.com, torjoh@hotmail.com, torresb@dadeschools.net, Trademarkanimal@aol.com, tristram.korten@miaminewtimes.com, Troy@johnnyandco.info, twinick@ccmiami.com, tylerco.56@gmail.com, updates@status.microsoft.upgrade.com, valeriejacquemin@bellsouth.net, vendorrelations@asurion.com, vet2b78@hotmail.com, virtualglenn@netzero.net , walmartnewsletters@walmart.com, web_mail@pamperedchef.com, webmaster@a2zcity.com , woolfm@life-techsystems.com, woolfmike@hotmail.com, yatigercub@yahoo.com, ybamartinez01@yahoo.com, ybmccarthy@dadeschools.net, yhernandez715@yahoo.com , "Liz Scholer" , , , "Kendall Miler" , "J+P" , "Jaime McCabae" < jaimemccabe@bellsouth.net>, "Jaime McCabe" , "Garrett Scholer" < huntindrunk247@yahoo.com>, , "Quinn Miller" , < fishordie@bellsouth.net>, "joe" , , "Anita Cieslinski" < a_sizzle@comcast.net>

Searching For New Companies To Acquire On Top Of SREA's Agenda.

(This is a another obvious stock scam so do not buy SREA)

Score One (SREA.OB)
Price: $0.145

SREA continues to be aggressive in its acquisitions, as it looks to the Expo for new harvesting grounds. Continuing to expand its assets through acquisition will increase share value for investors. Do your due diligence and get ready to move. Set your buy for SREA for opening bell Wednesday.

Rumor or news - stock spam for ONCO

Interesting style of spam for ONCO. Obviously don't buy ONCO stock!


Rum,or N-e_w*s-:

Onc'_ology M e'd . I+n+c'. ( OTC: O'NCO) a Canc+er Treatm.e.nt Sol+utio ns G'roup is s a-i_d to h-a+v,e e'xper_ienced o v-e-r a 10+00% i*ncrea,se in re'ven'ues f+o'r t.h.e f_iscal 3'r_d q uarter endi'ng J,u l.y-,

2'0'0+7 comp.are.d w i-t+h t,h*e pri+or y e'a r whil,e fi_scal fou'rth quart.er resu'lts f*o,r 2*0_0+7 a'r,e on

tra'ck to exce ed t h'i+s year,?s thir d quarte-r res_ults.


O,N C_O add'.itionally pl,ans to increa,s,e servic.e of'fe'rings w,hich a.r.e curr,e ntly un*derwa.y.
Do'n?t w+a+i t f'o-r t.h.e n.e_w*s to c+o*m,e o'u t a.n,d l,o-s'e t'h-e oppo.rtu_nity to g-e't in fr'ont of the

g'eneral inve+s-ting public+. O*nc.ology M_e+d is in a multi bi+llion dol-lar ind'u stry w*h'e-r.e t_h.e'y a'r.e gain_ing mark-et sha*re r-apidly.


C+a*l*l y'o-u'r br-oker n,o w f.o,r O N*C.O+.

Great sayings

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Dumas

The great question which I have not been able to answer is: "What does a woman want?” - Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... - Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. - Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." - Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

The wife - Joke

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side.........You know what?"

What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me.

I Believe - friend sayimgs

I believe -
. . that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe -
. . that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. Remember that!

I believe -
. . that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. Even if you think you can't.

I believe -
. . that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe -
. . that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I believe - . . that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe -
. . that you should always leave loved ones with loving words - It may be the last time you see them.

I believe -
. . that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I believe -
. . that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe -
. . that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe -
. . That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be
done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe -
. . that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe -
. . that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe -
. . that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be
the ones to help you get back up.

I believe -
. . that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't
give me the right to be cruel.

I believe -
. . that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and
what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've
celebrated.

I believe -
. . that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to
learn to forgive yourself.

I believe -
. . that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your
grief.

I believe -
. . that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but
we are responsible for who we become.

I believe -
. . that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your
life forever.

I believe -
. . two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe -
. . that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even
know you or by people that you don't even know.

I believe -
. . that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to
you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe -
. . that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe -
. . that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I believe -
. . that you should send this to the people that you believe in. I did ~

Red Hat Society Girls

Last night, my Red Hat Society friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.

When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short-lived.

Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.

What could I do? The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and left!!!!

"Good Old Red Hat Girls"

Best Buy Store and my Sirius satellite radio part 2

So the saga I am having with the Best Buy Store and my Sirius satellite radio equipment continues.

Less than 2 years ago when I purchased a brand new Honda Civic I decided to get Sirius Satellite radio installed by Best Buy in the car and get a kit where I can use the radio in my house as well. I then decided to further indulge my love for music, news and talk radio by buying a portable boom box so I can bring my satellite radio where ever I go.

As an early supporter of Satellite radio I deiced to buy the lifetime subscription for the Sirius radio at $499 that with tax came to almost $600. Later I was advised that lifetime meant the lifetime of the radio and I could switch radios 3 times at a cost of $75 per switch. Since I was in the electronics businesses and knew the lifetime expectancy of a radio is normally 5 or more years at least I felt confident to buy this Sirius Lifetime Satellite Radio Subscription based upon past experience.

When I purchased all of this equipment from the Best Buy store in Boca Raton Florida since there was so much of an investment riding on the radio that I decided to purchase the 4 year extended warranty that Best Buy offered based upon what the salesperson who sold me the equipment told me.

When I brought my new car home after the installation was done by the Best Buy store in Boca Raton FL I notice huge gouges in my dashboard so I took the car back right away. The installation department wrote up a report and told me that they would order the part from Honda and replace it right away.

Weeks passed and numerous phone calls were made by me to the Best Buy Store in Boca Raton Florida. No parts were ever order and nothing was being done. After numerous trips to the stare they told me that it had to go through their corporate office and I had to bring the car back down again and they took pictures with a Polaroid (they had no more film) to submit with the report. They sent someone out to buy more film – kind of ridiculous since they sell digital cameras.

Almost a week later I was told by their insurance department I had to go out and get estimates of the damage which I got at my time and expense and killed a day when I got the repair done. Total time to fix the dashboard – 9 weeks.

No sooner was the dashboard fixed when the Sirius replay radio started to develop problems.

The Birds and the Bees - Jokes

A father asked his 13-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know," he said, bursting into tears "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the "There's no Easter Bunny" speech.

At seven, I got the "There's no Tooth Fairy" speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the "There's no Santa" speech.

If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for.

George Bush Juniors clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never Moved, indicating that she never told a lie".

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life."

"Where's George Bush Juniors clock?" asked the man.

"George Bush Juniors clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."