Tuesday, July 31, 2007

When will this finish - drug spam

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Others, among the space naturalists, benefit by the designation given to this or spade that mowed weight object in life's tre HIS INCONSOLABLE WIDOW introduce swung The weary veracious landlord himself conceived an equal disdain for his guest; so that when Jones rung the bell in o healthy guilty Man saw has wild beast's blood in his veins. The fowler hastens to cute the slaughter. With his thumb, he sti The extremes of grief and joy arch have been harass remarked spoken to produce harbor very similar effects; and when either of

Monday, July 30, 2007

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo - joke

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."

Quasimodo (the hunchback of Notre Dame) said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."

So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official; I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says. "Who the heck is Rosie O'Donnell?"

Cake or bed - joke

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts. "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily "fix the lights now? Does it look like i have ge written on my forehead? I don't think so."

Fine, then the wife asks "well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right?"

To which he replied "fix the fridge door? Does it look like i have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."

Fine, she says "then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break."

"I'm not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps." He says, "does it look like i have ace hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so I’ve had enough of you.
I'm going to the bar!!!!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours but he starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home. As he walks into the house he notices that the steps are already fixed.

As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.

As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

Honey, he asks, how did all this get fixed?

She said, "well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake."

He said "so what kind of cake did you bake?"

She replied "hellooooo..do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

Little Tony - joke

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house
and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the
same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth.
"It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the
other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't
called sexual intercourse, it's called Bunk Beds and Jimmy's Mom wants to
talk to you."

Valerie - joke

The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you?" she asked.

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.

"No. I must see Valerie," he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to
see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in
a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.

Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was
astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid
Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

The man replied, "South Carolina ..."

"Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."

"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister’s attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death,
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer.

Guts or Balls: Medical Distinctions - Joke

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below:

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:

"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're Next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

stress management

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued,

"And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.

Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at l east have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did.

Texas Cowboy Boots - Joke

A lady went into a bar in Waco Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on
a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.

The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed. The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.

The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am.
Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before." "Don't be
flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

Mexican signs - jokes

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway offramp, each holding a
sign.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot
of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every
day.

Jose says, "Look at your sign."

I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support.

"Now look at mine." Carlos looks at Jose's sign.

I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico

couple in bed joke

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back.

He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed. "Why are you stopping?" she whispered. He whispered back, " I found the remote."

Over 50 folks jokes

Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men who are
interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.
When you are done, you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a
mirror?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 50+ folks use valet park ing?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ folks to have problems with short-term
memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where do 50+ folks look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ folks when shopping in
antique stores?
A: "I remember these."

Funny newspaper ads - old but good joke

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat ... been out a while.
Better be a reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
Call Stephanie.

AND THE BEST ONE :
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes Excellent
condition $1,000 or best offer No longer needed, got married last
month. Wife knows everything.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Image spam: PDFs for junk mail

Spammers try news ways to get you to click on their ads and get you to buy (willing or unwillingly) from them.

I have seen a huge increase in the past 2 weeks of spam which has little or no subject line – often with the word PDF in it and an attached image in a PDF format.

Unfortunately many people may have had to download the Adobe PDF reader software only to find out it is spam.

As with all spam we suggest you ignore any image spam you may receive.

Friday, July 27, 2007

EUROMILLONES AWARD 2007 - lottery scam spam

EUROMILLONES AWARD 2007
****************************
Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice the result of EUROMILLION 2007 promotions.

We are happy to inform you that your email address have emergeda winner of NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND EUROS (EUR 950,000)Euros.

NOTE: to file for your claim, please contact the claim Company with the informations below.
**************************************************
ASSITENCIA 2000 S.A
Mr. Roberto Nino,
Address: Calle Castellana 10, 28090 Madrid-Spain.
Tel. : +34-691-921-058
Email : assistancia-2000@hotmail.com
**************************************************
Find below your promotion date, Reference and Batch numbers. Remember to quote these numbers in your correspondence with your claims agent Mr. Roberto Nino.
**************************************************
(1) Ref No: ESM/WIN/008/05/10/MA
(2) Batch No: EULO/2907/444/908/06
(3) Lucky No: 3-18-40-40-76
(4) Serial No: 45407
(5) PROMOTION DATE: 4th July 2007.
**************************************************
Best Regards,
Mrs. Finela Transofa
(Lottery coordinator).
Madrid, 27th July. 2007

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

No Money? No Problem! - Spam

You're entitled to government funding and can claim it here:

http://mutantsun.com/(rest of link removed)

Government money is readily available for many reasons including:
* Business setup / expansion
* Real estate purchase and renovation
* Rent payment assistance
* Bills
* Education
* Equipment
* And Much Much More!

All you have to do is know where and how to ask!

Get our complimentary information kit here:

http://mutantsun.com/(rest of link removed)

cease traffic regarding this only,
http://mutantsun.com/(rest of link removed) alternatively Raven Media | 2620 South Maryland Pkwy # 969 | Las Vegas, NV 89109

Don't want this any more...
http://mutantsun.com/index.php?l=(rest of link removed)

This was sent to: (email removed)
X-mutantsun.com-Recipient: (email removed) X-mutantsun.com-Msgid: fresheggs3
100_3rd_Ave_W_Suite_#201_Bradenton_FL_34205
// xtz86018xfresheggs3x

Congratulations You Have Won (US$750,000.00) - scam spam

Attention:

Congratulations as we bring to your notice, The Foundazion di Vittorio has chosen you by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of a cash Grant/Donation for your own personal, educational, and business development.

To celebrate the 30th anniversary program, We are giving out a yearly donation of US$750,000.00 (Seven Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars) to 40 lucky recipients, as charity donations/aid from the Vittorio Foundation, ECOWAS, EU and the UNO in accordance with the enabling act of Parliament. which is part of our promotion To file for your claim you are to fill out below information and send it to the Payment Remitance Office Via their email contact

BATCH NO: (N-222-6747,E-900-56)

Full Name:...............Residential
Address:.....Occupation:..............
Country::..........Telephone:...............
Fax ........Number:..............
Sex:.....................Age:...............

(Payment Remitance Contact)
===========================================
Mr. Larry Walker
E-Mail: ecowasdonationprocessingoffice@yahoo.it
Website:http://www.fondazionedivittorio.it
===========================================

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Subject: Contact Our Correspondent Authorized Paying Bank. - phishing scam part 2

(After contacting the Nigerian scammers we got the following email:)

Dear (name removed),

We have finished processing your file and our paying bank will transfer your money to you as soon as you contact them. May I inform you that your money has been insured and this makes it impossible for any body to deduct or tamper with your cash prize until it gets to your account.The board made this rules that guide the lottery program. Now all you need to do is to write an official cash prize transfer application letter to our paying bank for the onward transfer of your cash prize to your account or in whatever manner you want your payment.
We hereby direct you to the paying bank for confirmations on your fund/prize reality of which your Award Prize will be transferred to you accordingly by this Commercial Paying bank (UBS).
You are required to contact the Paying bank

UBS INVESTMENT BANK
E-mail: transfers_ubs.investment(at)yahoo.co.uk
Do so as soon as possible furnishing them with your correct banking informations as well as the form which you filled in your personal information.
The bank will let you know the transfer modalities and also inform you on the best way to have your money ransferred to you. Get back to us for more nformation’s if Necessary as your trusted claims agent and update us here for more competent reason so that imediately your fund has been transferred to you,we must keep record of it for security reasons.
You are therefore advised in your interest to comply with any directives given to you from this office immediately so that the necessary protocols can be observed subsequent to the release of your funds.

I wish you all the best.

Congratulations once more.

Miss Anna Milton.
(Fiduciary Claims Agent.)
+447031930946

Subject: IMMEDIATE PAYMENT- scam spam

(People still fall for these!)

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
CENTRAL BANK OFNIGERIA
TINUBU SQUARE LAGOS

From the Desk Of:
Prof Charles Soludo
Executive Governor (CBN)
IMMEDIATE PAYMENT
REF: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/06
Cell phone. +234 8034483517
DEAR
We have this , 2007 received a payment credit instruction from the federal Government of Nigeria to credit your account with your full contract funds from the Nigerian reserve account with our bank.
This is to notify you that your funds have been programmed for immediate release into your nominated bank account but we can not transfer this fund direct to your nominated bank account, because we are having a little problem with International Monetary Fund (IMF) so our method of payment is by Diplomatic Courier Service.Be informed that every arrangement regarding your cash payment through diplomatic services has been made, note that your funds have been packaged like a consignment.Note that the Diplomatic Agency has to move down to your Country in order to deliver the Consignment to your doorstep.and the money is $10.5millon US.
Note that as soon as the Diplomats arrive in your Country they will give you a call immediately to enable you help them to get (Yellow Tag Paper).You have to help the diplomats to get (yellow Tag Paper) so that the customs and immigration will not stop them in Airport, for security reason you are advice to follow the rules and regulation of the diplomats for easy collection of the consignment, you have to welcome the diplomatic agent, to enable them deliver the Consignment to you immediately, be informed that as soon as the diplomats obtain the above name certificate they will deliver the Consignment to your door step.
This is to remind you that they has a transit to London and finally to arrive at your Country as the last destination on their diplomatic travel route this week,I want you to send your direct mobile phone and your home address to me immediately,so that as soon as the diplomatic arrive in State they will call you immediately to notify you.
Your Sincerely,

YOURS SINCERELY,
PROFESSOR CHARLES C. SOLUDO
GOVERNOR, CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN)
Cell phone. +234 8034483517
This e-mail and any attached files are confidential and may be legally privileged.asularlax_secatery(part of link removed)@yahoo.com

Your account might be compromised - phishing scam spam

You have received this email because we have strong reason to believe that your Catawba Valley Bank account had been recently compromised. In order to prevent any fraudulent activity from occurring we are required to open an investigation into this matter.

If your account informations is not updated within the next 12 hours, then will assume this account is fraudulent and will be suspended. We apologize for this inconvenience, but the purpose of this verification is to ensure that your Catawba Valley Bank account has not fraudulently used and to combat fraud.

To speed up the process, you are required to verify your Catawba Valley Bank account by following the link below:

http://www.catawbavalleybank.com(link removed)

We apologize in advance for any inconvenience this may cause you and we would like to thank you for cooperation as we review this matter.


Regards,
Catawba Valley Bank Online.


Copyright © 2007 Catawba Valley Bank. All rights reserved.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Criminalizing Nature: FDA Tyranny to Become Law - Spam

On Wednesday, July 11, 2007 the US House of Representatives passed HR 2900 without allowing the Ron Paul (R-TX) amendments to protect dietary supplements. Representatives Frank Pallone, Jr. (D- NJ), John Dingell (D-MI), Henry Waxman (D-CA), and others falsely proclaimed that they were doing America a favor by passing this sweeping FDA-supported legislation that grants the rogue agency more power and money, and even transforms it into a quasi drug company.

Both the House and Senate (S.1082) have made the fatally -flawed assumption that the reason for so many deaths and injuries from drugs was due to the FDA's lack of resources. In reality, it is the INTENTION of FDA management that is the problem, combined with the simple fact that multiple drugs are extremely toxic and don't work as advertised. Giving the FDA more power and money will only cause the agency to speed more drugs onto the market faster with even less safety testing, while abusing its power and actively stamping out competition to drugs.

FDA management is in bed with Big Pharma, and this new legislation makes matters significantly worse through the creation of the Reagan-Udall Foundation for the FDA. This new entity places the FDA in charge of drug design, drug patents, drug licenses, and the creation of new marketing entities/companies. Such a relationship with private industry is an unprecedented conflict of interest, totally at odds with drug safety. The current commissioner of the FDA, Andrew von Eschenbach, M.D., is little more than a Big Biotech sales rep with massive industry connections.

The House, like the Senate, will continue to allow direct-to-consumer advertising of new drugs with unknown risks . . . a flagrant safety risk that will cost many people their lives. Congressional leaders said they couldn't prevent this advertising for fear of violating the first amendment rights of drug companies. What a joke. The FDA routinely squashes the first amendment rights of American citizens to understand natural health options, and the science that explains how they can prevent and treat disease. Thus, the first amendment argument is simply a matter of convenience. The FDA wants to actively suppress information that will help people, yet allow highly risky and misleading promotion of toxic substances often for = untested uses. The FDA even wants to prev ent citizens from suing drug companies = when they are injured, thus protecting Big Pharma. FDA tyranny, based on this type of arbitrary and unrestrained exercise of power, is used to promote = and protect the pharmaceutical industry while at the same time undermining = the dietary supplement industry.

Both the House and Senate think it is completely fine that the drug industry pay the FDA fees so that the FDA can approve new drugs faster. Indeed, the FDA and Big Pharma met 112 times to work out their partnership before the FDA let Congress know what it wanted to see in HR.2900 and S.1082. This is like paying the mob for protection. A careful look at the history of the FDA shows it is little more than a bully that protects vested interests at the expense of human health. It is a pitiful agency. It is little wonder that the majority of Americans don't trust the FDA.

Big Pharma owns the FDA and Congress. The drug industry sees FDA management and Congressional leaders as a training pool for future Big Pharma jobs, based on how well Big Pharma is supported. There will certainly be plenty of rewards to pass out after this legislation becomes law.

It is a sick situation that this new fake safety legislation provides the FDA with unprecedented new power to stamp out competition to drug companies as well as expose Americans to far greater safety risks than ever before. Provisions within the legislation that creates the Reagan-Udall Foundation for the FDA will allow the FDA to remove any dietary supplement from the market based on its whim.

It is now only a matter of time and a formality before HR.2900 and S.1082 become law. There will be a little bit of haggling in the conference committee, as Big Pharma will takes its last chance at watering down any meaningful reform (of which there is very little). Big Pharma will whine that this legislation is too tough on them, which is a fallacy. This legislation is the Big Pharma dream come true. In a football analogy the only question is the final score. Will Big Pharma win by 28- 7or will it win by 42-7. Big Pharma has just cleaned the clock of Americans. We should not forget the gutless Congressional puppets that made it happen.

A new tone has been set. A new chart has been plotted. Congress has transformed the FDA into a quasi drug company with unprecedented new regulatory power to control all health options in America. How many deaths and injuries will it take for a comatose and medicinally-overdosed public to wake up?

Byron Richards

Byron J. Richards, Founder/Director of Wellness Resources, is a Board-Certified Clinical Nutritionist and nationally-renowned health expert, radio personality, and educator

Video of pistol disguised as a cell phone

(This scary video shows a pistol disguised as a cell phone and then they fire 4 shots from the cell phone gun. This video was emailed to me in a chain email no credits as to who makes the gun or the video etc.)

Read this before you view the video!

Most see airport security as a pain. Some deal better than others. Some feel violated, when you watch this movie, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine.

If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason. Because cell phone guns have arrived.

They are real.

The attached video clip shows how cell phone guns operate. These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas.

Beneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad.

European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe

"Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone." Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works.

They have a good reason!

Welcome to our NEW WORLD!!..

Friday, July 20, 2007

Listing confirmed. Sell another item now! - Phishing scam spam

eBay sent this message to you.
Your registered name is included to show this message originated from eBay. Learn more.
Listing confirmed. Sell another item now!

Hi eBay member,

Your item has been successfully listed on eBay. It may take some time for the item to appear on eBay search results. Here are the listing details:

CARVER MARINER 28 FLYBRIIDGE
Starting price: $4,000.00
View item | Go to My eBay | Revise item

Ready to List Your Next Item?


Click to list another item


Details for item number: 190133141838
Listing URL: http://cm.ebay.com/cm/ck/1065-29296-2357-0?uid=375549804&site=0&ver=LCA080805&item=190133141838&lk=URL
Start date: Wednesday, Jul 18, 2007 04:33:52 PDT
End date: Wednesday, Jul 25, 2007 04:33:52 PDT
Quantity: 1
Duration: 7 days
Listing fees: $179.75 (Insertion fee: $40.00; Featured gallery: $99.95; Pro Pack: $29.95; Photo: $2.85; Listing icon: $2.00; Listing Designer: $5.00)
Listing format: Auction

Information for amonnl


Marketplace Safety Tip
Visit My eBay to manage all of your transactions (including Second Chance Offers). That way, you can be confident these transactions have been listed on eBay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This email appears in the language of the eBay site where you are registered.

Learn how you can protect yourself from spoof (fake) emails at:
http://pages.ebay.com/education/spooftutorial

This eBay notice was sent to amonnl from eBay based on your account preferences. Your account is registered on www.ebay.com. As outlined in our User Agreement, eBay will periodically send you information about site changes and enhancements. To unsubscribe from this notice, change your

SGN: Latest Short Sale Data- Impending short squeeze - stock scam spam

(M2 PRESSWIRE via COMTEX News Network) -- BUYINS.NET, www.buyins.net(link broken), is reiterating coverage of Signalife, Inc. (AMEX: SGN) after releasing the latest short sale data to July 2007. From August 2005 to July 2007 approximately 60 million total aggregate shares of SGN have traded for a total dollar value of nearly $122.5 million. The total aggregate number of shares shorted in this time period is approximately 8.7 million shares. The SGN SqueezeTrigger price of $2.04 is the volume weighted average short price of all short selling in SGN.

The next of several short squeezes is expected to begin when shares of SGN close above $0.83, where approximately 288,000 shares have been shorted. With the stock approaching its first of several SqueezeTrigger Levels, a short squeeze can begin imminently. Over 288,000 shares have been shorted at an average price of $.83 and the stock closed at $.80 on Wednesday.

Once it reaches $.83 shorts begin to cover. When the stock closes above $2.04, all shares that have been shorted on SGN will be out-of-the-money.

About Squeezetrigger:

Short Squeezes are one of the most profitable trading events in the stock market. Using the SqueezeTrigger Strategy it is now possible for the first time in history to know the exact time, price, and size that a short squeeze will start!

About Signalife, Inc.

Signalife, Inc. is a life sciences company focused on the monitoring and detection of disease through continuous biomedical signal monitoring. Signalife uses its patented signal technology to design and develop medical devices that simplify and reduce the costs of diagnostic testing and patient monitoring in an ambulatory setting. Signalife is publicly traded on the American Stock Exchange under the symbol SGN. The website for the company is Signalife.com. Clear Data. Trusted Results.

This is a public press release privacy statement.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

An overall larger penis size also means a larger surface area- spam

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http://kalimetry(link removed).com
We have mulitiple distribution centres around the world, and endever to get you your packet as quick as possable. All orders will be processed and dispatched within 24hrs.

You've Got $77,000...CONGRATULATIONS!!! - spam scam

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Cell Phone Guns: Real Terror Issue

Most see airport security as a pain. Some deal better than others. Some feel violated, when you watch this movie, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine.

If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason. Because cell phone guns have arrived.

They are real.

The attached video clip shows how cell phone guns operate. These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas.

Beneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad.

European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe

"Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone." Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works.

They have a good reason!

Welcome to our NEW WORLD!!..

Mexican Earthquake - joke

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start and is asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million Mexicans to replace the dead ones. God bless America!!!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Doctor Lacy - strange spam

I have been lowcarbing for about 3months (had a week off over xmas) however, back on induction....

If i do a small amount of cardio e.g 30 - 40 mins Bike; after - the endorphins seem to flow and i don't feel too bad. However, if i do resistance training I seem to feel really drained of energy and i am overcome by a generall feeling of unwellness.

After resistance training today (feeling drained)i went and ate a low carb breakfast, which seemed to pick me up but throughout the day i have still felt pretty shitty...

Help anyone? I know this post is prob a bit vague but im hoping its just a common hurdle that people know about...........

Wayne

This cross-dressing loony is turning out to be a godsend for the liberals.


(snip)

After we bomb North Korea, what's the next country we should invade?

Iran. Though that's the beauty part of Iraq: It may well not be necessary. Because precisely what I'm saying with nuking North Korea-despite that wonderful peace deal Madeline Albright negotiated with the North Koreans, six seconds before they feverishly began developing nuclear weapons. They're a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to the rest of the world.

(snip)

I'm gonna say I could take Ray Romano. Just 'cause I really want to. Here are my faves from the above page:

The Onion: Who could you take in a fight?

Conan O'Brien: Let's see, who could I take in a fight? Definitely Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Have you seen her? Her upper body is very frail. I think I could take her if she was sleepy and I had a two-by-four. She'd go down quickly.

The Onion: Who could you take in a fight?

Emo Philips: Hawking, Reeve. Not at the same time.

--
ironcladlou, keeper of faq, bringer of poop humor

You are a pitiful excuses for a human beings. - tzakol


I was wondering what is the best way to find out the person to whom a coat of arms was granted. I have a list from Burke's Armory of Perry/Pery Arms that were granted (about 15 in total) but most of them don't say which particular person the Arms were granted to, although I know one or two of them. I have found one of the families in the Herald's visitations, but it doesn't say to whom the arms were granted, is the earliest person in the pedigree the original bearer of the arms? I realise I can apply to the College of Arms, but I was hoping there would be a slightly more inexpensive option!

Thanks

Vicki

For those AFers contemplating a walking program this Spring, you may want to pick up the April issue of Prevention. A special issue devoted to Walking Smart. Included is a 4 week pull-out plan specified for either the Walking Rookie or the Walking Whiz. Lots of great tips. Also included is their test of Walking Shoes including an excerpt on whether your foot is neutral, rigid or flexible which should enter into your choice of shoes. Shoes tested were Adida, Asics, New Balance, Nike, Reebox and Saucony. I have decided I must have the New Balance 788WB as the testers commented on lots of space in the toe area. Also lists the 12 best Walking Cities.

Remember Friday, April 2 is Prevention's National Walk to Work Day.

Plus a lot of other good articles.
Jo Ann

There used to be this show on Channel 7 (WXYZ in Detroit) Friday nights at 11:30 pm called "In Concert". I was an impressionable 13-yr-old just gettin'
in to rock music in the summer of 1974 when they showed parts of the California Jam in sucessive weeks on TV. I was a Deep Purple freak (still am) and sat glued to the set, enthralled with Ritchie Blackmore's stage antics (trashing a television camera while it was filming him and 'blowing up' his amps).

Well, Deep Purple - Live In California '74 was released on DVD yesterday, and it's just as enthralling (warts and all) as it was 26+ yeard ago. It may
not have been their best show, but it reminded me of the thrill I got when I was a kid. I hope that thrill never goes away.


Steve

Hi there, when I first turn on my computer for the day, it will run fine for up to 3 minutes or so until I get a complete blue screen with an error message which reads:
____________________________________________
*** HARDWARE MALFUNCTION
PLEASE CONTACT YOUR HARDWARE VENDOR (something like this)

*** The sv
____________________________________________

I can not do a CRTL-ALT-DEL reboot or anything....no response to anything except for a complete hard reboot. After a reboot my computer will run perfectly fine and won't see this message again. I only get the error message when my computer is cold it seems. But after running a while, it runs perfectly.

Has anyone had this problem, or can anyone shed some light into this issue please?

Thank you very much for your help people.
Please respond to group. Thank you.
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Whew! Thank God I found five friends to send this to.

Moving to Florida - Joke

April 30th:
Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

May 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 89 today. Not a problem, I live in an air-conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshiper.

June 5th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 1st:
The temperature hasn't been below 90 all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about, still seems hot. Getting used to it will take a while, I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers, cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I miss our cat, Tabby. He snuck into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and poop. No more pets in this heat!

July 25th:
Ocean breezes, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now, swatting the swamp mosquitoes that are as big as B-52's. $1,500 in darn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th:
100 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. The electric bill is almost as much as the house payment. And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state.

Aug 8th:
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. Damn heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a roasted cat!!

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two #@*& months and the Weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this Godforsaken place??

Aug 14th:
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out jail.

Aug 30th:
Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell and drove the damned roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware they could fly! The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to New York where all you have to worry about is getting mugged. I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba.

Worst spam of 2007

The year may not be over but I think my vote is already in for worst spam of the year.

The award to go "The United States National Medical Association" because of both their
Scummy way of using a name that tricks others whom may confuse it with the American Medical Association AMA but the sheer volume of thsi trash they send.

I have been personally blanketed with more than 600 of these spam junk email messages which are all going to email adresses which have been harvested from the internet.

IRS - Scam Email

(This is an obvious scam. If you get this email do not click on the link!)

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $93.60. Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access the form for your tax refund, please click here http://+(81.177.27.33/refundonline32874/)

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

Hope they are all okay now - drug spam

This message is devoted to the effect of the latest customer accomplishment study taken by the Intl. Pharmacopoeia Commission. They appraisal on-line pharmacy client and then appraise entirely on-line pharmacies. The 2006 year top award grant to: money off Online Drug store, granting us the main web based in the globe in clientele achievement.

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The goal of this newsletter is to lend you a hand to manage better shape.

Nancey Palmer

That got him angry. But word I tow was surprised. humor He got street control and cooled down right away. He asked if Ben I dont zoic know what will expansion happen with Bush. Ben shirt did that odd little worst case, best pull case scenario comp grain It was not entirely stuff to see Thias Bede's funeral argument that nation the people were standing about the churchyard s The four of them were sitting at wildly brave the picnic table girl drinking coffee and time eating pastries. Cliff had gon "Oh, she's a funny little fatty; voice art I ant wouldn't have her different. hover But I must be going now, for I suppo

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Can a single post save a life? Make you happy? Find out... - Message board spam

(found on a message board)

Hi,

the sence of community is great here, I've just bookmarked this site on StumbleUpon & Delicious...

Ok I saw a similar topic here a couple of weeks ago and it peaked my interest, but failed to find it now... can anyone direct me in the right direction so i can drop the author an email? The post was mentioning leverage (trading multiple) allowed in forex is bigger than in any other market - up to 200:1, compared with 8 to 10:1 for futures and a miserly 2:1 for equities.

They offered to learn a secret method of foreign currency trading and predicting market movements, thanks to which one will be able to turn $1,000 into $1,000,000 in 24 months (or $10,000 into $1,000,000 in just 12 months).

The post mentioned forex scams and currency futures trading, I was kinda sceptical but did click the link and watched the video on the site... got intrigued even more and took one more step which the site told me to.

To make long story short, today's about a week I've been playing the currency trading software game and it's made me more than a grand already. This is how ONE posting and some actions can change life

Sometimes opportunities merely jump on you right when there're shitloads of problems... like someone says in "Oceans 13" every problem is an opportunity in disguise. I was in debt and was sick figuring how to get outta it... now I darn see the light at the end of the tunnel... and it's not the headlight of the oncoming train

Give it a try guys, who knows maybe this is your game as well... and good luck on the way!

Jennifer

Big News For SZSN! Shares Rocket! UP 37.5%c - stock scam spam

Big News For SZSN! Shares Rocket! UP 37.5%

Shandong Zhouyuan Seed and Nursery Co., Ltd (SZSN)
$0.33 UP 37.5%

SZSN new releases show huge expansion and Multi-Million dollar projects.
Share prices rocket! Friday's trading was strong. Get On SZSN first thing Monday!

Not everybody's cup of tea, of course.

The company told The Mail on Sunday that the offer was an experiment in parts of London for contract customers. About Sprint Nextel Sprint Nextel offers a comprehensive range of wireless and wireline communications services bringing the freedom of mobility to consumers, businesses and government users. It's on Eckoh UK, the company for which the industry whistleblower actually worked. All other trademarks mentioned in this document are the property of their respective owners.

Because of this Aleus ordered his daughter Auge to become a priestess and threatened her with a certain death if she would ever have a child.

Definitely, Euanthes was related to Dionysus and to the Cretan king Minos.

One day, however, some of the young servant-girls resolved to play a trick on him. In other words those operating in a cash-only environment or those too young to open a bank account.
The fixed and wireless network supports a Cisco Unified Communications system, video streaming and a Cisco Connected Real Estate solution.

Nokia Siemens is the obvious supplier. He became one of the leaders regarded as the founders of the Hellenic tribes in the north of the Aegean region. Most of these are small companies. The supercomputer is important for the realization of next generation oil exploration, helping to analyze many interpretations with different models to determine where the company should drill. All other trademarks mentioned in this document are the property of their respective owners.

The defence is that to sell the stake would create an enormous tax bill.
Adieu Man, die de oorzaek zijt! The sound awakened Xob and he came to man's rescue. Los servidores reales no se comunican con Billy Goat, pero los delincuentes que atacan a los servidores en forma aleatoria tienen probabilidad de tropezarse con esta herramienta. Half a million users per month access applications in Cineca's data center. This is the web site of Ian Kingston Publishing Services. The Cisco leading family of HPC products includes high performance InfiniBand switching products and cost effective feature-rich Ethernet fixed and modular switching chassis. "Computing power plays a decisive role in providing better images of the geology several kilometers under the subsurface, especially in areas with demanding geological structures," said Mr.
He show down eight of them and when they fell out of the sky they caused drought and death.

"A stable, high performance interconnect is an absolute requirement for our needs, and we rely on Cisco's considerable expertise in implementing very large systems. The same is done with the bodies of still-born children and children who have died within three days after birth. Half a million users per month access applications in Cineca's data center.
The spirit was apparently beneficial to good Christians but punished the wicked and forced many into the path of righteousness. " Side-loading has become the accepted term for music which is download by some means other than over the mobile network.
Cisco equipment in Europe is supplied by Cisco Systems International BV, a wholly owned subsidiary of Cisco Systems, Inc.

He show down eight of them and when they fell out of the sky they caused drought and death.

The instruments were found by various people and they soon discovered that they could be used to cure the sick.

So T-Mobile doesn't look too likely.

Cisco works with leading independent software and hardware vendors in each ecosystem to qualify and benchmark solutions for these industries.
Cellufun has launched a handset version of the Tamagotchi.
Once, when Aleus was visiting Delphi, the oracle told him that the brothers of his wife would be killed by his grandson.

What are these icons?

The mobile phone industry is, of course becoming enormous - making the PC industry look relatively tiny by comparison.
Cisco works with leading independent software and hardware vendors in each ecosystem to qualify and benchmark solutions for these industries.

The company told The Mail on Sunday that the offer was an experiment in parts of London for contract customers.

He is said to have created the first crossbow out of iron and copper and used it to shoot at the nine suns that turned around the world. Plural form is bwbachod.

It is also a term used to describe a warrior as leader causing terror.
For example, projects such as forecasting the odds that Mount Vesuvius will erupt would have been impossible or far too expensive to achieve, due to the huge computing power required.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Solutions - joke

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . .

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

The World's Shortest Books: - joke

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton

Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden


THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O.J. Simpson

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
by Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
By Nancy Pelosi

Taking patients to a baseball game - joke

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats.

After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke out into applause and cheered.

When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling.

Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?"

The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"

Read alone Especially the Poem - chain mail

I believe whatever is in store for us will be for us. The poem is very true, unfortunately. Make sure you read the poem!

CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when she was out to lunch David proposed! She accepted, but then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got to her office, she noticed on her computer she had some e-mail' s. She checked it, the usual stuff from her friends, but then she saw one that she had never gotten before. It was this poem. She simply deleted it without even reading all of it. BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening, she received a phone call from the police It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive!

CASE 2: Take Katie Robinson She received this poem and being the believer that she was she sent it to a few of her friends but didn't have enough e-mail addresses to send out the full 5 that you must. Three days later, Katie went to a masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car, she was killed in that spot by a hit-and-run drunk driver.

CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this poem out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview with a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her passionate crush on him that she had had for 2 years. Three days later, he proposed to her and they got married. Cynthia and Richard are still married with three children, happy as ever!

This is the poem:
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

You must send this on in 3 hours after reading the letter to 10 other people. If you do this, you will receive unbelievably good luck. *NOTE* the more people that you send this to, the better luck you will have. SMILE, even through your tears!!!!!

A man and his ostrich - joke

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there ," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What 's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big behind and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Good Housekeeping Tip - joke

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. . . . . so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

A wake up about US life

You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.

You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.

You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.

You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.

So now how do you feel?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

What you have been waiting for - Spam

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The Accident - Joke

The Accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Women are evil.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Mensa Convention = joke

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

Best Buy Store Rip Off Customers With Worst Service

The Best Buy chain of electronics and appliances sucks!

Of special note is sales manager Mitch Khopueri and the main store manager Bill Gallagher of the Boca Raton Florida Best Buy store.

Do not ever buy anything from Best Buy...full story to follow shortly!

Vision Airships Global Expansion! - stock scam spam

BANGKOK, THAILAND, Jul 09, 2007 (MARKET WIRE via COMTEX) -- Vision Airships Inc. (PINKSHEETS: VPSN) -- The company wishes to announce that it has finalized arrangements for funding for its global expansion.

Vision Airships is set to become a worldwide operator of blimps used for advertising around the world. As the advertising market gets more crowded in conventional mediums -- the use of alternative forms of advertising is gaining more and more traction -- this is where Vision Airships comes in and supplies the end to end solution to major advertisers worldwide with its unique form of alternative displays. The size of the market worldwide will support 24 airships which would bring in approximately $400,000,000 annually.

Check out the news and get on VPSN first thing Wednesday!

Fourteen-year-old Liz and her friends love getting together, it reports, at the West Chicago Public Library, where they play video and board games, go online, and read.

We would much appreciate your referral.

I can only say that it sounds just a bit strange! Though I know it's a long wait.

To subscribe, they can just click here.

I was expecting to see lots of excitement and posts by users enthusing over the new version - so far there is very little. She was arrested as she stepped off a train in Rocky Mount, N.
You have to take care that using complex roads plan shape, the resulting slopes can be really complex for the AC SEO.
If you find the newsletter useful, won't you tell your friends and colleagues?
The file and folders names do appear correctly in Greek, but the greek fonts are not recognized, and they appear oddly on screen.
Do email us anytime! Hopefully, in these locuses of media literacy, critical thinking - about online behavior, sources, copyrights, etc.

Meanwhile, another virtual world, Second Life, is now seeing the first case of an avatar suing another avatar for real money.
Hopefully, in these locuses of media literacy, critical thinking - about online behavior, sources, copyrights, etc.

Have a great weekend!
Am am going to add new post on curbs shortly. I speak for at least two users that seem to feel the software may have lost it's way, so to speak. I'm not exactly a Mac user, so correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that do exactly the same thing as the one that Dwight pointed out? That's not an improvement, but I won't open a new thread.
All rights reserved worldwide.

Most of our work is in the mountains, so my issues and challenges with AT my be a bit different. Though I know it's a long wait.
Hopefully, in these locuses of media literacy, critical thinking - about online behavior, sources, copyrights, etc.

Hopefully, in these locuses of media literacy, critical thinking - about online behavior, sources, copyrights, etc. JPG Description: how do I add points to make basin in my site? Fourteen-year-old Liz and her friends love getting together, it reports, at the West Chicago Public Library, where they play video and board games, go online, and read.
that is a good game also. If using a Fill this seems not to be an option.

The menu organization, the interface, and the shortcut keys ARE things you can change, you know.
Persistence - what you say sticks around. Online games and social networking on cellphones are the next frontiers for child online safety.
Meanwhile, another virtual world, Second Life, is now seeing the first case of an avatar suing another avatar for real money. - will become a norm in digital-media users' online lives. We would much appreciate your referral.

I suggest the Forum Administrator to kindly move it in the proper place "Other products".

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Looking for high-paid job in your country? Our company is proud to offer you a job that can become your stairway to a real success. - employment spam

(note the spelling errors!)
Dear Emplyee,

Our International Corporation has a variety of high-paid jobs available at the moment.
We are proud to offer you an interesting, respectable position in a field of Financial Services.
If you are a honest, responsible and hard-working person we would be glad to do business with you.
Our company is a respectable international organization.
We believe that the success of our company depends on maintaining high standards of business conduct, integrity, safety, quality and respect for people and the environment in everything we do.
We are working honestly. We will never ask you to pay or invest something.
You work - we pay for the result.
We will never ask you to provide us with your private information such as credit card number or your bank requisites.

There are no geographical limits for our candidates.
People from all over the world are welcomed.
No degree is required in order to join us.
We value educated people very much but we believe that there are a lot of perspective persons without any degree.
We have job for everyone.
Most of people who is working as our local representative for 2-3 years has embodied all their financial dreams in a reality.
They know that working with us is a right way to acheive the financial success.

It's impossible to tell everything in this short introduction message.
If you are interested just contact us and we will forward you the complete information about available vacancies.
It is absolutely free.

Thank you,
we are waiting for your prompt response to Private.reps@gmail.com
Please include "Application number 311500" in a subject line.

P.S.
If you believe that our message has come to you by mistake just reply with "unsubscribe" to local_repr[at]yahoo.com and you'll never hear from us again. We apologize for any inconveniences.

in complacent those various - spam probe

WORKING TO PROTECT INTERNET NETWORKS WORLDWIDE Spamhaus tracks the Internet's Spammers, Spam Gangs and Spam Services, provides dependable realtime anti-spam protection for Internet networks, and works with Law Enforcement to identify and pursue spammers worldwide.

The SBL database is maintained by a dedicated international Spamhaus team based in 9 countries, working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to list new confirmed spam issues and - just as importantly - to delist resolved issues.

The Spamhaus Exploits Block List (XBL) is a realtime database of IP addresses of illegal 3rd party exploits, including open proxies (HTTP, socks, AnalogX, wingate, etc), worms/viruses with built-in spam engines, and other types of trojan-horse exploits.

The Exploits Block List can be used by all modern mail servers, by setting your mail server's anti-spam DNSBL feature (sometimes called "Blacklist DNS Servers" or "RBL servers") to query xbl.spamhaus.org.
Use of the XBL is free for users with normal mail servers (but networks with high email traffic should see DataFeed).

You can get MUCH MORE if you contact us:

The Spamhaus Project Ltd. 50 Churchill Square, Suite 6, Kings Hill, West Malling ME19 4YU United Kingdom, Tel (+44) 0845 226 0208

Finally, the growth rates of Asia and Latin America are expected to ease back as global demand slows - stock scam

VPSN Has Wild Day as Stock climbs $0.019 (90.48%) GAIN!

VISION AIRSHIPS INC (Other OTC:VPSN.PK)

The 24 hrs has been a sky rocket for VPSN. With major news to be released stirring interest has brought huge returns for investors. The key is, knowing when to get on and when to get off a stock, for successful day trading. VPSN has distinct patterns to watch for. This ride is not over. Jump on now and ride the price up on the highest return "Day Trade" we have featured this year.

Get on VPSN first thing Tuesday as we stired you in the right direction for Monday.

Also, an allowance for employee discretion in the modification of pricing is frequently "baked into" pricing policies and procedures, without mandating oversight or providing accountability.

However the PPP strategy must be based on principles which ensure that PPPs are seen to be in the public interest in the sense of achieving additional supply at reasonable cost. Mais la facture est lourde. By any measure, that is an impressive number. Now just about every major site has some syndication capability and my efforts are no longer necessary.
Urban infrastructure was built many years ago, but it is crumbling. With many central banks tightening monetary policy, the period of high liquidity that has so stimulated recent growth may soon come to an end.
Reading Quadrature with the PAK- Reading Quadrature with the
PAK-VIIb The new PAK-VIIb has a special feature that allows it to read quadrature data inputs.
Los servidores reales no se comunican con Billy Goat, pero los delincuentes que atacan a los servidores en forma aleatoria tienen probabilidad de tropezarse con esta herramienta. For more insurance related news .

Illustration ci jointe.

By any measure, that is an impressive number. errors usually occur if changes have been made to a spreadsheet. But time may be running out as the current economic cycle could well peak in the next few years. Also, it is possible for the wheel to stop where one of the inputs is always high or even mechanically oscillate. Each Linux app just shows up on your desktop as though it were any other program. In both cases, the RRB should not carry any foreign currency or maturity mismatch risk in their books.

Mais la facture est lourde.

A year ago, domestic ring-tone market was at Rs.
Media houses such as Star, Sony and BCCL have formed separate divisions to tap into mobile content.

How does India hope to obtain this level of investment?

We are looking for regional representatives - Employment Scam

Dear employee,
Our International Corporation is looking for new employees on various vacancies.
We suggest you financial Independence right now. Only our corporation can offer you to gather a good income in a short period of time. You do not need to invest any sum of money and we do not ask you to provide us with your bank account requisites! We are engaged in completely legal activity and working in our corporation you can achieve career growth at a permanent job. We are looking for representatives from any point of the world. Average earnings of our employee is 3450-4500$ per month, but you can earn much more. Here is the top 10 of our representatives’ salaries:

Top 10 employees
Per month:
1. 45750 $
2. 42185 $
3. 38590 $
4. 25808 euro
5. 32000 $
6. 15700 GBP
7. 27200 $
8. 24300 $
9. 22750 $
10. 18730 $

It is easy to be in ours Top 10!
Everything is simple enough and it depends only of you.
We are waiting the creative approach and purposefulness from our employees. You can work full time or part time.
You determine the schedule of you work at our corporation. We pay you for result. The best regional representative becomes the head of regional office of our company and receives a full social packet and bonus at a rate of 50 % from his annual salary. Many of our employees have made excellent career, received full financial independence and have embodied all their dreams in a reality less than in 2-3 years of working in our company.

The preference is given to employees with knowledge of foreign languages.
If you are interested in our offer please send us the following information:
1) Full name
2) Address of residing
3) Phone numbers
4) Languages
5) Part time job/Full time
Please send this information to our email: (removed email)[at]yahoo.com Please specify in the subject line: Application for the local rep position. Number 100711

If you are not interested in our offer or you received this email by mistake please reply with Unsubscribe in subject line and specify all your emails addresses to (Removed Email)[at]gmail.com.
We apologize In advance.

Yours faithfully,
Colin Scowcroft

Sunday, July 8, 2007

FIRE THE GRID

Precious Hearts, since the dawn of this year we have been discussing the fact that our Father-Mother God and the Company of Heaven issued the fiat that 2007 will be
a year of monumental change. As incredible activities of Light unfold day by day, we can see the tangible manifestation of this Divine Plan. These activities of Light are preparing Humanity and the Earth for our Ascension into the 5th Dimensional Realms of Infinite Perfection.

Now, on July 17, 2007, we are being presented with a Cosmic Opportunity that is unprecedented in our lifetime. Because of the myriad activities of Light that have taken place over the past several decades, Humanity is finally in a position to fire the grid that will unite the Divinity within every man, woman and child on this sweet Earth. This grid will also reconnect Humanity directly with our Source, All That Is.

This grid has been a fragmented shadow of its original potential for aeons of time. This situation has prevented Humanity from being able to clearly perceive the Oneness of Humanity or to hear the still small voice within. Consequently, our communication with the Realms of Illumined Truth and our Father-Mother God have been very, very limited.

Why July 17, 2007? Well, the Beings of Light have an expression, "Cosmic Moments come and Cosmic Moments go." They say that if Humanity misses these Cosmic Moments, it may be thousands of years before the opportunity will be presented again.

July 17, 2007, is a Cosmic Moment. On this sacred and holy day, there will be a surge of Creation Energy from the very Heart of our Om niscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent Father-Mother God that will blaze through the whole of Creation. This All-Powerful Light will raise the energy, vibration and consciousness of every facet of Life that was ever breathed forth from the Heart of God.

Through the unified intention of the collective consciousness of Lightworkers around the world, this awesome Creation Energy will also fire the grid and rewire the short circuits and fragments that have caused our self-inflicted separation from God, as well as from each other.

This facet of the Divine Plan is being revealed to Humanity by Shelley Yates, her website is www.firethegrid.org . Please read her story with an open heart and mind. We have all been preparing for this Cosmic Moment for millennia. At long last, our time is at hand.

This amazing story by Shelley Yates tells about a miracle that happened to her and her small son. The miracle revealed an opportunity for Humanity that will create an unstoppable shift for Planet Earth and all her Life. Read this information carefully, take it into your heart of hearts, and share it far and wide. Know that YOU are the Hands of God now made manifest in the physical world of form.


And so it is, Beloved I AM.
Patricia Cota-Robles
***********************************************
FIRE THE GRID
by Shelley Yates www.firethegrid.org
THE STORY

We are now in a time when natural disasters like hurricanes, earthquakes and tidal waves are dramatically affecting our planet, and our lives on it. We now have the power to destroy this beautiful Earth quickly, with atomic power, or more slowly, with pollution and devastation of our resources and overpopulation. I have been guided to tell you that we also have the very real power to save this planet and to make it a loving and healthy place for ourselves and for future generations. Please take a few minutes to read my story. It will hopefully save our Earth.

I have a story to tell you that I know will be hard to believe in parts, but it has happened to me, and I cannot erase or deny any of it, though at times I wish I could. I am a normal woman who grew up in simple yet chaotic times. I am much like you in most every way. I always thought I would be the last one to have a miracle occur in her life, much less two miracles and all that has happened since. Therefore the tale I tell could be of your life, and not mine. But seeing it is mine, I guess I was meant to tell it.

What I want to establish first is the fact that miracles do happen, and they happen to people like you and me. What we need to make these miracles happen is to open ourselves to the communication that is all around us every day-communication not from this world but from the world of our Creator, the Cosmos and the Universe. The message comes from a distance, but you find it by going inside and believing. We can all create miracles within our lives, and that is one of the main points in writing this for you. I have no special tricks. Simply open yourself to the possibility that what I tell you is possible and that it is available to every person.

I will refer to God in many ways throughout this story. This is strange for me to refer to God in any sense, as I believed He had abandoned me a very long time ago. But I will refer to a Prime Creator of the Cosmos and the Universe, along with this Earth that we live on every day. I call God the Prime Creator because I want all those to understand that this story is completely unbiased and unprejudiced to any affiliation with any religion, and the God of my understanding is not only an Earthly God, but a Universal God. I will also refer to God as Mother Earth, Gaia, which I came to learn through this journey is the female piece of God. As in everything that is in our Universe, you must balance darkness with Light, peace with war and recognize the two faces of God, the female and the male. We are all pieces of this Prime Creator. We are a part of God.

Two miracles happened in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. My son and I drowned in a flooded marsh and not only lived to tell the tale, but we are better than ever. I was dead for fifteen minutes. I was told by Beings of Light how to save myself and my small son, and I was given a message on how to heal the Earth.

As you are reading this, I ask you with all my heart to open yourse lf to the possibility of what I say. I feel it is imperative that we unite this world as one planet with one common goal-to establish peace and prosperity for all, not just the select few who were blessed to be in the right place at the right time. We are entering a new phase of Humanity, and what I will tell you in this website, www.firethegrid.org , will help us as a race to assimilate the changes that the future will bring.

I have not had God in my life for forty years. I did, however, as a child, chase the possibility of God. I felt that those people who had undying faith were the lucky ones, and the fact that I believed in nothing made me the loser. As a child I often spoke to God but never felt heard or connected. It took life throwing me into a flooded marsh and drowning me to open my eyes to the reality of how much we are all connected to the Divine Power.

It is showing up now more than ever. You can go on the Internet and find thousands of hits about the next phase of Humanity, the Era of Enlightenment and the time of change. These stories are in our religions and in the stories of the ancient cultures such as the Mayans, the Egyptians and the Native Americans. We have all been waiting for the moment when things would be different, for surely God will do something to save us from ourselves.

Well, there is something in the works, but God is merely directing it through people like me, and it will take the faith of people like you to create the reality. Once again I am getting ahead of myself, but in the messages I am receiving, I am being given a way for us all to participate in a healing of Mother Earth, and a launching of the human race into a time of health, peace and positive change. But for this to happen, you will need to sit in meditation for just one hour of your life.

I once heard in the Star Trek series, resistance is futile. I did not want to be a messenger for God, but when God wishes our awakening, it will happen. So now I will tell you the Truth of what happened to me after a car accident that occurred in November 2002.

My son and I were traveling to a friend's house for an afternoon of play when disaster hit. My car was swept into a flooded marsh after hydroplaning. The car landed upside down in this boggy marsh and sank to the bottom. I tried to open the car's windows, but the power windows failed, and we were trapped inside. I spoke with my tiny son who was four at the time and assured him that Mommy would get him out.

The car was filling up quickly with the cold, murky water, and I held my son's coat tightly in my hand while I waited to be fully submerged. I hoped that I could open the door after the car equalized with water and we would swim out. My final words to my little boy as the water came over his head were, "Hold your breath, honey; Mommy will have us out soon." I watched him take a large gulp of the remaining air, and the water took him. When I felt the last air pocket escape the car, I tried the door. It wouldn't budge! The other door was equally stuck. I struggled with the doors several times, to no avail. We were trapped and going to die.

At this point I took Evan's little body and pushed it over the seat, hoping beyond hope that he would find air. As I struggled to free us from this coffin on wheels, I realized I had to breathe. As I drank the deep breath of water into my lungs, the fiery feeling adde d panic to the moment. I wanted my baby back, and I swung my arms feverishly about in an effort to find his body. I couldn't; and I needed to breathe again.

That is when I heard a voice, a calm majestic voice, directing me to relax. This voice cooed in my ear, reassuring me that all would be well. I was infused with the knowledge that if I fought the water, my rescuers would not be able to revive me when they arrived. The voice said that if I fought the water, I would drown.

The voice continued to give me instructions about what was to happen and that all would be well if I just followed the instructions. I relinquished myself to this voice from beyond and passed quietly into the other side.

While on the other side I saw Beings of Light who once again assured me that my son and I would not only get out of this car, but we would both be fine. They were definite in explaining that I must follow instructions implicitly and not lose faith in their words. I was told to have faith, that I would be Divinely directed, and I was.

It took my rescuers fifteen minutes to pull my lifeless body from that car and another seven minutes of CPR to revive me. As my body bolted upright, I blurted "get my baby out of the car." Twenty-two minutes had passed. The rescuers jumped back into the freezing bog to retrieve my son, knowing against hope, that he was dead. It took rescuers another five minutes or so to get my boy free from that car. His limp body was transported to the IWK Children's Hospital, where he was immediately hooked to every machine known to mankind.

The team of emergency doctors and neurologists were waiting for me. They assured me that my sweet little boy was indeed brain dead, and in addition to this, his internal organs were full of blood. He was hemorrhaging throughout his body, and his organs were non-viable. Things were the most bleak I have ever known. That is when the voice came to me again. "Have faith, child."

T he doctors advised me to unplug my baby and let him pass peacefully, for even if a miracle happened and he did live, he would be a vegetable. "No quality of life" is all I remember thinking. Once again I heard the voice, "have faith." For that moment the doctors agreed to keep Evan on life support, but advised me not to hold out any hope. He had less than one percent chance of living, and then he would continue to be hooked to all these machines for the rest of his life. Remember, I had no God, so I could not even call for guidance.

It was in the quiet of my first moment alone that I was given the instructions. "Follow the instructions implicitly." Memories of the visions and the voice in the lake flooded back to me. There was someone there with me, I was sure of it, and I decided to listen carefully. I was instructed to rebuild my son's aura by infusing his little body with the auras of others. Twenty minutes at a time was one of the first rules, for if it was longer, you would drain the aura of the giver.

They instructed me to parade loving people through Evan's room, each depositing their own energy field into his lifeless body. They were to do this by connecting their flesh to his flesh and allowing their energy to run through his body, and then to give Evan their Gift. If they sang, they were to sing. If they were story tellers, tell a story, and so on. Infuse him with positive energy and your love and your talents, and this will revive him.

I proceeded against hospital protocol to send loving humans into my son's room every half hour. They then followed the instructions and gave their gift of love. This procession lasted twenty-four hours a day, for three days. Dozens and dozens of people came. They "camped out" every day and every night-loving, trusting souls infusing his lifeless body with fresh energy.

The fact that I was able to convince the hospital to allow this unorthodox behavior to happen was a miracle in itself, but on the third day, after 72 hours of constant vigil, my boy opened his little eyes and recognized me. He was back!!!

The doctors were baffled. They continued to tell me that he would never walk or talk or be a normal child again. However their words this time had no effect on me. The guidance and direction from my spiritual Light Beings had proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would be fine; after a ll, my "friend" in the lake had told me so.

Within the first week Evan had recovered all his body functions, and by the end of the second week he was running down the halls to the hospital playroom. This was indeed an incredible miracle. What had I done to deserve such reprieve by our Almighty Creator? I didn't know nor did I care. I wanted to take my son home and be done with the whole nightmare. This is when I realized that I might be done with my Light friends, but they were not done with me.

I continued to hear the voices and be directed with both visions and seeing auras. Needless to say, I was more than a little freaked out. As time passed, I would ask, "What do you want of me?" They would speak of the love for the Universe and how things have gone terribly wrong. Humanity has spiraled out of control and has lost its true connection to God and to this Earth.

They want desperately for me to give the humans of this world a message from "beyond"-that we have inside of us the power to unite this planet as one race with peace and prosperity for all. This power lies inside us all, and when combined with the loving energy of other humans, we can do for this planet what we did for my son. We can revive this Earth and catapult it into healing. With this healing will come a new phase of Humanity. We will have a time of peace and harmony. All it will take is our intention as a united group-and one hour of our time.

So as the voices and visions unraveled, I was given the guidance of how to make this all happen. However it will take many of us on this planet to see to the success of the project. As they told me to rotate the humans through my son's room, they have told me to unite Humanity from every corner of the globe-not every human, just representatives from every corner. We can do this. We need to unite enough people to fire the Divine Energy System of this planet and jump start it like we did with my boy.

This global project of loving intention is completely possible. Your intention to make it happen can change the outcome of this planet. I will discuss the details of the plan in the next section of this E-mail. I will give you the directions to follow, and you will see how little it will take for you to become an ambassador of Light to our home, Planet Earth. I beseech you to join me when we fire the Earth grid on July 17, 2007, and add your energy to this project.

I promise you, just one hour of your time, and you can help heal this planet and help create peace among all people. My son and I are examples of the power of positive energy and what humans are truly capable of when they unite with the intention of love. Love is the universal language of our world and the world beyond.

Light and Love be with you, and welcome to the next phase of Humanity; be part of the excitement and please join us.

The Light Beings have told me we can stop much of the harmful behavior and destructio n on Earth if enough humans decide that they want to become spiritually connected. It is possible to re-form a grid connection between us that will allow us to realign the energy of this planet and with each other.

The Beings of Light have told me that on July 17, 2007, THERE WILL BE A SURGE OF CREATION ENERGY, which will make our reconnection possible. Please read about this in The Plan. There is hope for a miracle!

THE PLAN

For the past two-and-a-half years, Light Beings have been communicating with me frequently. At first, I was very uncomfortable with this, as it was so foreign to what I believed and how I lived. But as time has gone on, I have grown enormously in my faith in our Creator and my belief that there is much more to life than what we generally physically experience. There are other dimensions that are just as real as ours, and there are forces of good that truly want to help us.

The Light Beings have explained to me that we are all connected by Source energy. This connection has a grid-type configuration, so to make things simple, I'm just calling it "the Grid." There are small grids connected to the large grid. For instance, each species of animal has its own grid. This allows easy communication between animals. I'm sure you've wondered how salmon know when to travel upriver to spawn or how monarch butterflies all know to fly to Mexico or geese to fly in perfect formations. Their connection to their grid allows them to know where to go and when to go. In the Asian tsunami, very few animals died. That is because they were informed through their grids that danger was coming.

Human Beings chose many thousands of years ago to disconnect themselves from a collective grid, so that they could have free will. This severance has allowed us to make our own decisions and be independent. But it has also allowed us to make many mistakes, which have adversely affected this planet. And it has made our direct communication with The Source more difficult. We are now at a turning point when our disconnection could mean the end of the Earth, as it now exists.

This Earth is being harmed by us. This is the section I happily present as the plan to help remedy the situation in which we find ourselves. This is the plan which will allow us to more fully connect to the Earth gri d and begin the healing of this planet. Together we will reset Mother Earth with a bio-electric "SURGE OF LOVE" from Humanity.

When we do sit in meditation simultaneously and fire the Grid for one hour, we will unite the globe and connect all the regions of the Earth simultaneously. In the process, we will unite our souls in love, peace, harmony and collective cooperation for a better world for our people, today and in the future.

The plan was given to me by the same Light Beings that guided me while I was drowning in the lake. They have been with me since that time and have been delivering to me information about our world and how we, with love and unification, can pour our loving intention of peace and healing into this Earth. They want to set us on the path for a healthy planet, viable and working now and for the generations that follow. They also want to direct us to the way to enlightenment and union with the Divine.

The Light Beings use the term "fire the grid" when they speak of the energizing of Humanity with Divine Power on July 17, 2007. They say firing the grid will accomplish two things. First, it will pulse healing energy into the center of the Earth and regenerate the core or the heart of the planet. Just as we poured our energy into my dying son, we will individually give the gift of our true intention, the gift of our individuality and the gift of our healing energy. As they explained, my son's energy field was badly deteriorated, as is the Earth's.

We must pour some of our living energy into the Earth, and the accumulation of our combined energy will regenerate the Earth. They told me humans are like little lightening rods channeling God's energy to the planet.

Because we have separated ourselves from our complete connection to The Source by not having a fully functioning Human grid, God's energy has not been able to easily flow into the Earth. If we choose to come together to rebuild our grid, then the nat ural flow of energy between us and God, God and the Earth and from person to person will be restored. Do you see what a wonderful gift you will give? This energy will live on eternally with the Earth and its inhabitants-the splendor of the Creator's intention for us realized in the creation of this new energy field for our planet.

How do we do this you ask? The time has been set for July 17, 2007, at 11:11 A.M. Greenwich Mean Time, that is 4:11 a.m. PDT or 7:11 a.m. EDT. I have been given no indication about why this date and time have been chosen, but this date has been told to me over and over again. I have been asked to bring together as many humans as possible throughout the world, from every corner of the globe, to simply sit and pray or meditate for one hour during that time.

Hopefully, with your help, we will amass a union of humans such as the world has never seen. Loving humans having one intention can heal our planet and awaken our souls to our true purpose-to become One with our Source of Light.

This planned sitting of the people of Earth will demonstrate the love and faith we feel for the goodness of our world and her inhabitants. We are the catalyst to the healing of Earth. A true believer has the power of t enfold, so if you only think you may believe, know that the faith of the others will boost your own faith, and the power will be intensified.

That is why we must all sit at the same time. We will feed each other's power, strengthening the force of delivery and compounding the energy we send into the core of our home planet. Each and every one of us is important alone, but together we are a very powerful source of creative energy. Remember, we are all a piece of God and that energy of creation lives in all of us.

There are three types of humans today that will bring power to this project. First, we have those of you already practicing in an organized religion. I am not asking you to change any of your faiths or Truths, just know that if the God of your understanding is truly omnipotent, then all things are possible-so why not this? What better use of our human energy and prayer than to heal the Earth and unite mankind with God's Grace and Goodness.

Then we have those who have been searching outside the organized religions to find a different, more individual way in which to believe and live in the Light of our Creator. We each search for a more individual way in which to know God. These people I refer to as the New Age Lightworkers. These Lightworkers will feel the Truth of these words and will simply know deep inside that the plan of which I speak is indeed a Truth, a clear direction in which you can be of assistance to the Earth.

The fence sitters make up the third type. I call you fence sitters because you truly wish you had faith, but the state of the world has beaten any faith out of you. You long for the loving touch of faith, however you feel that God has abandoned us. Two-and-a-half years ago this was me. I had become hardened to the reality of the world and had no faith that God would ever intervene and save us. I was angry at God for letting us down and delivering us such chaos.

However, I have seen that God has on ly provided us with that which we desired. We believed we were sinners and not worthy of God's Love. We were lost to the fact that we are a piece of God and therefore able to participate in our lives with the Creator. Now to all of you who were like me, I issue a challenge: Suspend your skepticism for just one hour of your life, and just sit, alone or with others, to think about the beauty of this planet, to appreciate all that you have and all that you are, and to give hope for an improved future for us all.

This plan involves only one hour from each of us. Our combined energies will work to direct energy to the Earth and to each other. I ask you to choose the way in which you deliver your intention. For those of you that pray, then pray for the hour asking for the faith and power to accomplish this tremendous task. Those of you who meditate, meditate and see the intention of your thoughts swirling deep inside our Earth, delivering the love and healing.

Those of you who have no ritual of faith may simply develop one that works for you. You may sit quietly and repeat a phrase of your intention, such as "I offer you my energy to heal this world and its people." Any positive words of hope, love and desire for change will manifest these thoughts as reality- our new reality.

If possible, gather with others during this hour. I have found that the intensity of my meditation heightens when I am sharing the experience with other people.

As we enter a time of more loving energy, the frequencies of our Earth will heighten. We need only open ourselves to this possibility to feel the gift. You are a part of God entitled to all the wonder and splendor of the Creator's Earthly gifts.

This project is going to work. Remember this process brought back a dying boy, and I have been promised it will work on a global scale if we can find the humans to participate.

In the Bible, it is said that they could not save Sodom and Gomorrah for want of ten good people. We are being offered the opportunity to save ourselves by offering only an hour of our lives. We can call out to the Universe that Earth has good people here. We can show the Divine Creator that there are enough of us here who truly want to evolve and become what we were intended to be.

I have been told that help is being sent to us. We can help create a miracle. My son is now running out in the yard, delighting in his life. A miracle saved him.

This gift of Divine energy, and our willingness to help make it happen, will save us all. Please join us on July 17, 2007, at 11:11 A.M. Greenwich Mean Time, to bring the power of God's Love to us all. In choosing to participate, you will be defining your intentions to the Universe and you will also be defined as a Human who desires positive change for this planet.

Be defined and ignite a beacon of Light in your soul, so that we may be recognized by the world, the Universe and each other.