Poems with most romantic first line, and the least romantic second line.

These are entries to a Washington post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, and the least romantic second line.

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
- marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
- that's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
- this describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
- but I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
- but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
- but don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
- damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
- what have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
- except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
- two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?